Saturday, June 17, 2017

17 June 2017 — Turning 23 &.... ENGAGED

So sweet of my dearest friends to countdown with me into my birthday at ORTO hahahaha. Thanks to the ongoing HITCH6 promotion that all of us got a ride back home at 2amish at really affordable (or even free) price.

The tough part of the day was I guess waking up for my interview at 10.30am.. I didn't have problems waking up but whenever I have an 'upcoming event' of the day (eg. camps, interview, overseas trips) I will just never be able to enter deep sleep. Anyone who suffers the same as me? I guess the brain automatically loads the event of the day in subconsciously (?) making it so active even before morning 😭

The interview went relatively ok.. But blablabla fast forward, I just couldn't bring myself to accept the job because it requires me to work alternate Saturdays and I haven't really explored my options/gone for any other interviews?? Haiz it's a really Welcome 2 Adulthood phase. The interview was at Senoko which was super factory-ish so it took me quite a walk before reaching a bus stop to get a bus back to Yishun.

Got home to change and 'hurried' out to meet the girls for lunch! Pasta at Modesto's Elizabeth Hotel which was..... very meh. Considering we had 30% off from Eatigo, the price was still rather steep especially for the food quality. Bleh highly not recommended. But it was so sweet of the girls to already plan an after-lunch place to head over! Once again, we Grab-ed over to fancy Boufe boutique cafe. Rather surprised that it closes as early as 5pm that day.

17/06
Our mehhhh pasta meal. But Kirene claimed that she loved her seafood stew though.

17/06

17/06
Beautiful food comes with beautiful price, with not so beautiful impact to the wallet

Untitled

Untitled
Thought that birthday cakes isn't that much of 'a thing' anymore but the girls still surprised me with one. It was a surprise with the help of Vanvan stating that she was craving for another round of truffle fries 😂 Vanvan you're so cute really

Then again, we took another Grab car to our next destination LOL. Almost all of us nap like a baby in the short 15 minutes car ride. Errrr we went over to Esplanade library, to charge phone (????), but to no avail. I think there might just be a need to bring extra portable chargers just for friends who are constantly running out of battery. Sat along the river and finally proceeded to take yet another Grab to Grand Copthorne Waterfront for Chloe and Marvin's wedding dinner. (Marking a total of 4 Grab rides for the day)

Untitled
Mono series return (as usual Kirene directs and photographs)

The view from the ballroom was pretty!! Rovson and Nelson were the emcees for the night which made them really nervous for the night. Never remembered Rovson as a person who could speak on stage hahahaha. I must say for the sake of looking normal and not red-like-i-am-very-drunk-just-because-of-a-glass-of-alcohol, I did not drink throughout the wedding ceremony until the very end when I had half a small glass of wine. 

After majority of the guests left, some of them managed to grab a few bottles of wine to bring to the bride and groom's suite for after-wedding party. Well, when we reached the 27th floor and exited the lift, I heard my name being called and asked to move to the front of the hotel room as I was just using my phone behind everyone else. 

Lo and behold, I saw Briano (holding a birthday cake), Evelyn and Meiting first followed by the rest of Rovson's close friends and the girls whom I spent the day with few hours ago. My first response was "Omg this is people's wedding leh!" (in Mandarin). My first thought was why were they using the bride and groom's room to give me a birthday surprise. I managed to get a better look into the room and it was really beautifully decorated, but I still thought it was part of the bride and groom post-wedding room's decoration. Ohhhhh how naive I was LOLOLOLZZ I feel stupid just thinking about it. How is it possible the decorations for newly wed room be extensive to that point of having fairy lights and balloons now that I think of it .... .... 😰😏😒

Untitled

Even after singing the birthday song and taking a few pictures, I only got an understanding of the situation when I was prompted to walk to the middle of the room and saw Rovson standing there with a guitar. I don't think my mind fully grasp on what was really gonna happen, the proposal (!!!!!!). SHOCK beyond words. I think my heart stopped beating so many times. 😱

He was so brave to sing in front of almost 20 people and sang so well considering he drank quite a number of glasses of wine and beer IMO. I guess I would have cried if it was just the two of us, or if I wasn't so shock. Crazy, crazy, crazy wave of overwhelming emotion within that I don't remember feeling before. In the positive light of course! It was also why I said 'yessssss' so slowly when Rovson popped the question 😂

Untitled

The rest of the night was almost 20-30 minutes straight of phototaking and just sitting around. I conclude that the hotel room's aircon was really malfunctioning lol. We went over Chloe and Marvin room to have a toast with the rest of our Mandoo peeps before finally ending the night at about 4am. It is really funny that no matter what I could bring myself to wake up earlier for breakfast the next day, which I did together with Linda the next morning 😂

It's so crazy learning about the truth of all the preparing and coordinating that went on prior to the entire proposal. Thank you Winnie, Jinghui, Mingzhen and Mingwei for doing up the beautiful decorations!! Briano, Evelyn and Meiting for the birthday cake! Jon for taking video of the process! Linda (my super effort photographer), Angel, Vanessa, Kirene, Yunling (n u JR) for the beautiful DIY board and polaroid pictures! Rayner, Alvin, Yonglong, Eric, Yonghe, Chloe, Marvin, Tingmei, Nellie, Nelson, Vivian, Yuanyee, Aloy for being there and helping out in other ways I didn't get to know of! XIE XIE XIE XIE NI THANK U THANK U THANK U :''''')

Mooooost of all, thank you my... fiancé! 😢  I was still upset with him earlier when he kinda 'forgotten' about the time and didn't wish me as quickly as I thought he would for my birthday. When he said he will make it up to me, I was still thinking 'how are you ever gonna make it up to me'. Such an unforgiving and unloving girlfriend I was. I swallowed and 💩 out my words!!! Back then last year when I held out my hands to you at ORTO asking you "so when are you going to ask me?", and then telling you again that I've thought it through and 2018 might be a better timing since 2017 does seem too early. That's why the shock level was doubled 😂  I will never be able to appreciate and thank you enough for going the extra, extra mile for me. Thank you for loving me for who I am...... I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuu babe 💋💋💋

Tuesday, June 06, 2017

Youth Camp 2017: Ascendance Awaken

I blog because I don't want to forget. To not forget, I shall keep records. To keep records, I blog!!!

Can't believe how crazily 'passionate' I was about blogging in the past when blogging was in trend since 2006 (as far as I can remember and I was old enough to blog lol). I remember really keeping a notebook so I can write down the happenings of the day, accurate enough to blog. Such commitment. Which is.... so hard to be found in me now hahaha

Soooo Ascendance Awaken camp!!!!!! It ended this evening and I only joined in on the 2nd day because of our Vietnam trip. Now that I mention, I feel like blogging about the trip!!!! But ok, camp first.

Church camp day 2, 5 June 2017.
Managed to make it for the morning session led by Cynthia! As usual..... I was late. AHHH but joined in during worship. As usual, I always tear almost from the beginning to the ending whenever Cynthia preaches during church camp/zone meetings. Out of 5 times, 5 times this happens. I remember texting Kirene and she asked if I really love Cynthia, and I replied that I love how the Holy Spirit always shows up so strongly when she preaches. This time she preached on REAL.

In the valley:
Revival happens
Encounter happens
Awakening happens
Life Happens

How I love love love love people who are genuine and real. But in a good way of cos. I must say that even if you're real but you're REALly detestable real, hmm I don't love that :p

As usual, packet lunch for camps are.... not fantastic but just eat as much as possible. Hahaha I'm saying all these because the blogger jie in the past since 2007 would have blogged such lame details too. Played the games at the basketball court of New Charis mission and boy was the floor of the court burning hot!!!!! Really gave myself an excuse to not be super involved because of my 1-day-old manicure princess nails, and I am seriousssssssly never a games person, still I appreciate the effort of the ones who put them in place for campers to enjoy. I found my purpose at the camp when we cleaned and scrubbed the floor sprinkled with flour after Kirene and I timed-out ourselves from the last part of the games.

20170605KT_5993

20170605SCKW_9508

20170605SCKW_9510
Kirene already successfully got away with minimal damage, while Linda seems to have an invisible protection cloak whereby she wouldn't be getting any dramatic water poured over her

20170605KT_6150
Flour + water + heat aka sun = Freshly baked cake on our heads and shirts

20170605KT_6098
Actually Kirene, I can't believe that you actually wore shades looking cool playing a game that requires some intensive strength

20170605SCKW_0203

20170605SCKW_0201
"Oh how lovely does this feel"

One of the weird facts about me is how much I can't stand bathing in dirty toilets....! There's something about dirty toilets that creeps me out, which I know I have to learn to tahan even more especially if I do go for mission trips at places that lack of basic sanitation. Haiz.

Anyway, thank God and Kirene's aunt for allowing us to bathe (and chill) at her place hehehe. My dried up hair + flour was no joke... It's like..... dried seaweed + sand.. Dry and.. gross. But ok I'm the only one allowed to speak so badly of my hair ok. Pls save the heartache from hearing from anyone else except myself.

So Kirene and I actually napped on the sofa and overshot our supposed nap time because I set my alarm wrongly as 'AM' instead of 'PM'. Still, we managed to rush and cooked up a storm (uh huh) before rushing out and taking Grab back to New Charis Mission for the night session with Pastor Meng!

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017
Kpo-ing at Julia's primary 5 math homework!!! I do miss giving tuitions

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017



He's seriously so humorous almost all the time hahahaha. And of course, he moved in the Spirit. Got us to prophesy which is something that 90% of the time being man, we will have so many doubts whether it's God's thoughts or ours! But it pushes you to werrkkkk your inner man.

Joel also shared his testimony during session which is just really awesome to hear and see how God moves and works in his life :)

IMG_6853

20170605KT_6985

Here comes the night game of youth camps which lasted all the way to 3am. Again, I'm not a games person but the effort put into planning 'ESCAPE REALITY' was definitely not a game which can be easily thought of and executed in a short amount of time. It was like Escape Room but more touches and heat (it's so hot for a night!!). It's not perfect but still good!

20170605SCKW_7137

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017

20170605SCKW_7257

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017
Hahaha one of the game station was still occupied but we were so tired so we just sat on the floor right outside while waiting

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017
Mr Liang!! Your passion to serve the youths never fails to inspire me each time. You were never a person who likes being lack of sleep (who does right) but you always just go the extra mile all the time. You were a great house IC!!!! Ni hui lai le, and God is right there backing you up in your walk, church, ministry and school!!!

Late nights never fails to drain me... why did it take me only 21 years to realize???? Yes, I used to stay up till 5am since primary 5 playing Audition, having conference calls during secondary days talking about who-knows-what oh gosh. I COULD HAVE GROWN TALLER THAN HOW I AM NOW. #toolateforregrets

Back to blogging about camp.

There was some hiccups with the sleeping space... But anyway Kirene and I shared a bed in summary and thank God she's almost like a tree log who doesn't move much when she sleeps. However, well, we had this mini debate whereby she insisted I shouldn't open my sleeping bag because it was gonna be so 'messy' *perplexed emoticon* while I insisted otherwise. She ended up enjoying its company and fully utilising it the entire night.

Church camp day 3, 6 June 2017.
The next morning!!!!!! It's the only time I refused to wake up at camp. Hahahahahaha just refuse to open my eyes even when I heard many of the rest waking one another up. I'm a bad camper this year. My school of thoughts about church camps is that I really always THOROUGHLY enjoy sessions. But if I don't join in for the other activities in one way or another, it's just different.... I haven't volunteered to help out in camps other than muso since.. 2010? 2011? And last year 2016 helping out as team IC which brings me to the point of STILL NEEDING TO PLAY GAMES + MORE ENTHUSIASTICALLY. Hahahaha but God just plans in amusing ways. The more it is out of your comfort zone, the more you're gonna get it. (For instance, always being a camper)

It was my first time hearing Pastor Audrey preaching a full sermon and though the message was just a simple one, it was one that I cried buckets because of His tangible presence especially with... THOSE WORSHIP SONGS. The very first few songs that I remembered singing when I just became a Christian and really as a youth, youth

Who am I, that you would know me from the start, set me apart
Who am I, that you would place eternity into my heart
You have given to me more than this world could give
My purpose is found in you

One life, I lay at your altar
One love, I have with you
Touch me again,
fill me as you hold my outstretched hands
One word, you know I will follow
One heart, broken to you
Use me again, your mercies follow me,
for all my days

In your presence,
in your power,
Holy Spirit I surrender

I can't express how this song express my cries to Him in every stanza. There are so many old songs that I really love and pose so much more meaning to me.

2017060620170606YT_0830

I must say that the rest of the time when campers went for games after Pastor Audrey's session, I managed to catch a power nap instead. Never belittle how rest can give you that extra awakening for sessions and sermons, because when the sleepiness kicks in, you can't receive what God is speaking through the speaker !!!!!!!!!!! As much as it is really good to plan really fun and great games/activities for campers to be engaged in, friendships to be forged, but to me what's most vital is after breaking those 'heart barriers' of youths through fun activities, is for them to truly truly experience and encounter God during sessions. It IS what is going to be planted, rooted, growing in the depths of the heart.

I hope youth camps planners do come across my blog and read this and really plan for adequate sleep time for campers. !!! Or maybe is it because how I realized I truly cherish sufficient sleep and rest?? But yes, still.

IMG_6455

20170606SCKW_7853


IMG_6474
Thank you those who made the decorations so simple yet simple doesn't equate to the amount of effort put in. ★

And Qiankang, the LED lights were from you!!!! You were just about 11 year old when we were in W514 together, always finding ways to keep yourself entertained amongst us who were at least 4 years apart from you. Now you're standing strong in the Lord and going out to SERVE him and His youths. I don't get to speak much to you anymore but I'm equally inspired by you!

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017
Hehe Pastor Zhuang and Pastor Audrey, it's amazing how God puts power pack couples within our midst. Dear Pastor Zhuang, though you really don't know me (on personal terms) even after 10 years being in your zone.. HAHAHAHA but you'll always be my one and only direct pastor even after a decade and I'm glad to be placed this way. The fruits of your labour and what you've done for his Kingdom will always be so evident.

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017
My dear chaogeng camp buddy. HAHAHA but thank you for still attending camp together!!! So much love for you ee ee oh oh :-*

2017060620170606YT_0826
I'm so inspired by you Ki. Of how you decide to consecrate your life in your own way between you and Him. Always keep the fire going, above all doubts, just BELIEVE.

The last session was led by Kelvin, who was literally ON FIRE (his shirt slogan and also his preaching). Being on fire, demands a reaction. I would say one of the things that he preached that I know I will always have in mind is the illustration that he gave with the matchsticks.

20170606SCKW_8256

20170606SCKW_8275

Whenever you do those things to keep your spiritual fire going, your fire for Him continues burning (matchsticks added). However as you get complacent in your walk, the fire gets smaller (the gap between the matchsticks widens) until eventually it might even cease. How dangerous is that?????? It definitely rings a DANGER BELL in my most inner being. At the same time, I know how being and STAYING lukewarm is dangerous and definitely not impressive. Not to myself. Not to God for sure. Sure, we do have our valley moments, we don't feel like doing anything 'churchy' or God-ish related. We can attend services religiously, week in and out, but only God and ourselves know how our heart conditions are. I hate that lukewarm feeling. No one can fuel your fire for God. He doesn't force His ways into us. It starts with me, you, WO MEN ZI JI. I am speaking to myself.

20170606SCKW_8591

Jason was nice enough to drive us (Melvin, Wingkuan, Jingwen, Kirene, Andrew, Isaiah) for a short dinner together at some random Eunos coffeeshop after breaking camp. I can't say how much I like cellgroup members gathering together even when there's no clear objective of gathering together. Thank you Jason for driving us back! Omg I'm really so happy that I have fellow cellgroup members who stays at Yishun = company to travel back home together!!! Definitely a good choice being a part of E456 hahahaha (what a shallow reason)

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017
Dear Honghong, I LOVE seeing how you would MAN UP and loving and caring for people just as Jesus would. I so glad you allow God to lead you back to Him and how you choose to FOLLOW. Always remember Him, focus on the things that LAST. U r doing great, in His kingdom and your studies! Always proud of you!!!

Untitled
Never lose your goofiness which is so rare and well-liked. Above it, never lose your wonder and zeal for the Lord just as how you never did even after all these years when you have to see your peers losing theirs. You're a treasure in His Kingdom and His eyes always, Ang!

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017
My now spiritual family members, thank you for being part of the camp together in your own ways ♡ #YouNeverWalkAlone

* * * * *

All in all, I would still say I love church camps. How God shows Himself exceptionally strong. How I can dwell in His presence and have encounters after encounters I hold onto dearly. But remembering to let it seep in.

At the same time, somehow in a way or another, I question myself why am I not involved in helping out and what's the purpose of just joining in? I am just receiving and not giving???

Then again, I am reminded what it is to be PRESENT. Does it make me any more desirable serving and helping out? Does it make me any less desirable just being a participant? If I have to answer any questions or doubts I pose to myself, I can only say I want more of Him. How do I make Him want me more? I don't think there's an answer to that. In what ways can He use me more? That is definitely one thing I can find out only if I yield, abide and fight to do more. I have loads of thoughts but insufficient justifications. But the last I want to feel is guilt, the bad one. Beyond any doubt I must be propelled to do more for His kingdom, but bad guilt should never be a contributing factor.

Step out, to step into His purpose for you and I.
I am speaking to myself.

Thank you lasting through the lengthy random blog post structure and thoughts that I have, whoever who is reading. Although honestly I am blogging for my record keeping.

Thank you photographers of the camp for all the beautiful amazing photos!!!! (the beautiful high quality ones are all their credits, of cozzzz)

Ascendance camp 5-6 June 2017

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Attractions

There are many, many, many times that I'd come across various individuals' social media platform or cross paths in a way or another with them and my heart just can't help but to feel that certain...... heartache for them? If you get what I mean.

Evelyn and I had this conversation about how different individuals attract specific "traits/nature" kind of people in their lives which might be due to.... idk.. different reasons (personality, behaviour, nature, lifestyle etc.). So yes, while we were at the topic, I do realise that are a certain 'type' of people that I draw into my life. Evelyn raised it up if it was just because I 'lead them on' subconsciously in a way they might misinterpret my intentions. Then again, it pointed out whether my interactions and friendship with them were actually out of sympathy.

Sympathy. It isn't exactly a well-liked, popular word that many would like others to use on them.

It really did dawned on me and I did do some pondering over this particular area.

Am I really just being sympathetic with this group of individuals whom I find a need for me to reach out and be a friend to them??

Honestly till this day, I find it.. a grey area. Sympathy, empathy, compassion?

What I DO know is that my heartstrings are pretty much subconsciously tugged whenever I meet such invidividuals. Some may find it 'bad' in some ways, but for me as a believer, I guess God really wires different people in different ways??? Not everyone can be a transformative, strong-minded leader such as Lee Kuan Yew, a loving humanitarian Mother Teresa, neither can everyone be a humorous comedian like Robin Williams.

My point is.... I don't know the response of my nature falls within sympathy, empathy or compassion. But I do believe every single one of us are able to 'connect' or 'attract' certain groups of people. Eventually if that is one of God's callings to you to reach out to them, or if you do not have any faith and believe you are just made this way, you'll just naturally act according to the situation.

Yep. I've come to the end of my sudden surge of thoughts.

As much as I really want to give all the love to those whom I feel that are caught with a sense of emptiness deep within which causes them to translate their behaviours and lives in different manners they might or might not have wanted to, I am keeping them in my prayers whenever I can.

I am no saint and am no way close to that. However God, if it is your will, as hard or easy it may be for me, show me and give me the capacity to how I can touch their lives even if means a little. A little, is enough to start.

Have a greeaaattt Valentines' week ahead whoever who chanced upon this post! XX

Friday, January 08, 2016

Just something that went through my mind, I want to be more aware of the things that I have rather than those that I don't.

This doesn't mean I won't strive for more in life. It's something to dream, wanting to achieve more and having those 'goals' (vvvv commonly used these days), yet not missing out on what you have at the present moment. I want to be constantly reminded not to take things that I have for granted. God, my family, friends, roof above my head, education & the list goes on.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Just when I thought that I've got the chance of reviving and being consistent with my blog posts, then I go missing again. Hahahaha. Alright so far I've decided to venture into the insurance/financial consulting industry since the opportunity came in my way. Today was my first day of training which was also the brief orientation day. The story behind it was quite 'lol' but why not. Life is short and people have to experience different things firsthand to gain different perspective, don't they?

But that also means that I have to drop several of my tutees whom I've been with at least 6 months - 1.5 year. Also had the intention of dropping the tutee whom I've been with since the end of 2013 up till now... But I guess I can still afford to work things out and co-teach together with Evelyn to provide my tutee help through her school days as a primary 4.

Really have to pray for His strength and favor upon me during this new phase especially when it comes to the real deal of entering the working industry after graduating from university.

Oh yes, speaking about uni.. The results of semester 2 is out & thank God that I managed to pass them all!! This semester is really much more of a relief as compared to my first semester which really was a complete disaster for me. It had a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. Like really. BUT.... His grace is always sufficient for me.

Looking forward to what's ahead & wrapping up year 2015.